So why not let everyone participate?

Under my plan, every American household could borrow $ 10 million from the Fed at zero interest. The more conservative of us can take that money and buy bonds to 10-year Treasury. The current 2 percent annual interest rate, we can pocket a nice $ 200,000 per year to live. The adventuresome can buy more than 10 years of Greek debt to 21 percent to an annual income of $ 2.1 million. Or if Greece is a little too risky for you, go with Portugal, about 12 percent, or 1.2 million per year. (No sense in getting greedy.)

Think about what we can do with all that money. We can pay our mortgages submarines and rebuild our retirement accounts without spending a day schlepping around the office. With a few quick keys, we will be golden for the next 10 years.

Of course, we must convince Congress to pass legislation authorizing all loan from the Fed, but that should not be difficult. Congress is really good at spending money, as long as legislators do not have to come up with a way to pay for it. Just look at how the Democrats have agreed to extend the Bush tax cuts, if Republicans agreed to reduce social security taxes and to extend unemployment benefits. Who says bipartisanship is dead?

And while many larger holes blown in the deficit, my proposal will not cost taxpayers anything because the Fed will simply print money. All we need is about $ 1,200 billion, or $ 10 million to 120 million homes. We’ll all cross our hearts and promise to repay the money in full after 10 years so that the Fed will not lose all the dough. It can hold our Portuguese debt as collateral just to make sure.

Because we will make money in much the same way that hedge fund managers, we should have to pay only 15 percent of the tax, just as they do. And since we’re going to make money through investments, does not work, we will not have to pay Social Security taxes or Medicare premiums. This means more money will go into these programs, but so what? No longer need them, with all the money we rake in with our cheap loans from the Fed.

Come to think of it, getting rid of work, we can eliminate a large number of government programs. For example, who needs unemployment benefits and job retraining when everyone has joined the investor class? And forget about the trade deficit. Heck, we want these foreign workers to keep us supplying goods and services.

We can stop worrying about education, too. Who needs to understand the value of pi or the history of civilization where all you have to do for a living, it is the order up some business? Let the kids stay home with us. They can play video games while we pop bonbons and watching soaps and talk shows. Liberals will love this plan because it reduces income inequality, the Conservatives will love it because it promotes family time.

I’m really excited! This is the best of U.S. financial innovation, as liar loans and Pick-a-payment mortgages. I can not wait to get my super CAP started to help candidates who support this important cause. I think I’ll call my proposal the “Get Rid of Employment Directive and education.”

Some may worry about inflation and long-term stability under my proposal. I say they do not have faith in our country. So what if it cost 50 billion marks to mail a letter when the German central bank has tried to printing money to pay unemployed workers in 1923?

That could not happen here. This is America. Why should hedge funds and large financial institutions get all the goodies?

Caution 1 percent, here we are.

outlook@washpost.com

Sheila Bair is a former president of the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. and a regular contributor to Fortune magazine.

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